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The Actual Reason Your Customer Care Training Isn’t Working: A Honest Assessment

Quit Hiring Agreeable People for Customer Service: How Attitude Trumps Agreeableness Every Time

I’ll say something that will most likely upset every HR person who reads this: recruiting people for customer service due to how “agreeable” they seem in an assessment is among of the biggest blunders you can commit.

Nice becomes you nothing when a person is screaming at you about a problem that was not your fault, requiring fixes that don’t exist, and promising to destroy your business on the internet.

That which works in those situations is strength, professional standard-maintaining, and the capacity to stay focused on results rather than emotions.

We learned this truth the difficult way while consulting with a large commercial company in Melbourne. Their selection system was completely centered on finding “customer-oriented” people who were “inherently pleasant” and “thrived on helping people.”

Seems reasonable, doesn’t it?

Their consequence: extremely high employee departures, ongoing absence, and customer quality that was consistently mediocre.

When I examined what was occurring, I learned that their “agreeable” staff were becoming completely devastated by demanding clients.

These staff had been recruited for their genuine compassion and desire to help others, but they had absolutely no preparation or built-in protection against absorbing every client’s bad emotions.

Even worse, their inherent tendency to please people meant they were repeatedly committing to demands they couldn’t fulfill, which resulted in even more upset clients and more pressure for themselves.

We observed genuinely compassionate employees leave after short periods because they struggled to handle the emotional impact of the work.

Simultaneously, the rare staff who succeeded in difficult support situations had completely different personalities.

They weren’t especially “nice” in the typical sense. Rather, they were strong, confident, and at ease with maintaining standards. They genuinely wanted to serve people, but they furthermore had the capacity to communicate “no” when required.

Those staff were able to acknowledge a person’s frustration without making it as their fault. They were able to stay professional when clients turned unreasonable. They managed to concentrate on finding workable solutions rather than being trapped in emotional dynamics.

Those traits had little to do with being “pleasant” and everything to do with emotional intelligence, professional security, and toughness.

We totally changed their recruitment process. Instead of screening for “pleasant” applicants, we commenced evaluating for toughness, solution-finding ability, and confidence with standard-maintaining.

During assessments, we gave applicants with typical customer service examples: angry customers, excessive expectations, and situations where there was absolutely no perfect solution.

Rather than inquiring how they would keep the person happy, we inquired how they would handle the encounter effectively while preserving their own emotional stability and enforcing business standards.

This applicants who responded excellently in these scenarios were rarely the ones who had originally come across as most “pleasant.”

Alternatively, they were the ones who demonstrated logical thinking under stress, comfort with stating “no” when necessary, and the skill to distinguish their individual reactions from the customer’s emotional condition.

180 days after implementing this new hiring strategy, representative satisfaction dropped by over three-fifths. Service quality increased substantially, but more notably, happiness particularly for demanding customer situations got better significantly.

Let me explain why this approach works: support is basically about solution-finding under stress, not about being continuously appreciated.

Clients who reach customer service are usually previously upset. They have a problem they cannot resolve themselves, they’ve frequently previously worked through multiple solutions, and they want skilled assistance, not superficial pleasantries.

What angry customers actually need is someone who:

Recognizes their issue promptly and accurately

Exhibits genuine ability in grasping and addressing their situation

Provides honest information about what might and is not possible to be achieved

Takes appropriate steps efficiently and continues through on commitments

Keeps professional behavior even when the person becomes difficult

See that “being nice” does not appear anywhere on that list.

Effectiveness, calm composure, and dependability are important far more than pleasantness.

Actually, overwhelming agreeableness can actually be counterproductive in support situations. When customers are truly upset about a serious issue, inappropriately upbeat or bubbly behavior can seem as dismissive, insincere, or insensitive.

I consulted with a banking institution company where client relations staff had been taught to constantly maintain “cheerful demeanor” irrespective of the customer’s emotional state.

That approach functioned fairly well for basic questions, but it was totally inappropriate for major problems.

When customers reached out because they’d lost substantial amounts of money due to processing mistakes, or because they were confronting economic difficulty and required to explore payment solutions, artificially upbeat behavior appeared as insensitive and inappropriate.

The team re-educated their representatives to align their interpersonal approach to the gravity of the person’s circumstances. Serious concerns needed professional, respectful responses, not artificial upbeat energy.

Customer satisfaction improved right away, especially for serious situations. Clients felt that their problems were being taken with proper attention and that the staff serving them were competent service providers rather than simply “pleasant” individuals.

It brings me to a different important consideration: the distinction between empathy and interpersonal involvement.

Good customer service people must have compassion – the skill to acknowledge and validate other individual’s feelings and perspectives.

But they definitely do never require to take on those emotions as their own.

Interpersonal internalization is what happens when support staff begin experiencing the same upset, worry, or distress that their customers are feeling.

That psychological absorption is incredibly exhausting and results to burnout, decreased job quality, and excessive employee departures.

Appropriate empathy, on the other hand, enables people to understand and attend to customers’ psychological requirements without making ownership for solving the person’s mental wellbeing.

This separation is vital for maintaining both professional performance and individual wellbeing.

Therefore, what should you look for when hiring support people?

To start, psychological awareness and toughness. Search for people who can keep composed under pressure, who won’t accept customer frustration as their fault, and who can separate their own reactions from another people’s emotional conditions.

Next, analytical ability. Support is essentially about recognizing challenges and finding effective solutions. Look for people who handle problems logically and who can reason clearly even when interacting with emotional people.

Also, confidence with boundary-setting. Screen for candidates who can state “no” professionally but definitively when appropriate, and who understand the distinction between staying helpful and being taken advantage of.

Fourth, authentic interest in problem-solving rather than just “pleasing people.” The most effective customer service people are driven by the intellectual satisfaction of solving difficult situations, not just by a wish to be liked.

Most importantly, professional self-assurance and inner strength. Customer service representatives who appreciate themselves and their work knowledge are significantly more effective at preserving professional interactions with people and offering reliably excellent service.

Remember: you’re not recruiting people to be workplace companions or emotional comfort providers. You’re selecting competent service providers who can deliver high-quality service while preserving their own mental health and maintaining reasonable boundaries.

Recruit for skill, toughness, and professionalism. Pleasantness is optional. Service quality is crucial.

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